Mm, Nachos
by Raven Morning
Summary: HB stops by a fast food joint to grab a bite, but ends up causing more chaos then he intended. Just a drabble I came up with one day at work. Slight HBLiz Review, please.


Carryn adjusted her headset once more, sighing as she did. It was a beautiful fall night, chilly and clear with a starry sky. Of all the places she could be, of all the things she could be doing, she had to work. And at Taco Bell no less. She stared at the cash register on the counter before her and waited for the unusually quiet night to give a customer. Then again, not many people craved Taco Bell at one in the morning.

"Oh, the joys of the red eye shift." Carryn mumbled to herself sarcastically. She sat on the front counter and played with a straw absentmindedly, almost wishing she wasn't the only employee there.

The distant purr of a motor caught Carryn's attention and she pressed the button on her headset to connect to the drive thru.

"Welcome to Taco Bell," she droned, her brain on autopilot. "can I take your order?"

"Yeah, gimme five orders of those big nachos." a deep baritone answered. She paused, a bit surprised. No one's voice sounded this low, especially through the outdated, tinny drive thru speakers.

"Um, sure. Anything else?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Okay, pull up to the second window and I'll have your total."

She pulled five nachos from the hotbox and hurried to the second window, where a dark red truck was waiting. She slid open the window and glanced at the driver. What she saw, though, made her do a double take.

A red skinned demon grinned out at her with big white teeth. Two horn stubs protruded from his forehead, and yellow-golden eyes peered out from under a heavy brow. He wore a black shirt with a heavy trench coat over it, and Carryn could have sworn she saw a tail flicking back and forth underneath it. Crushed Red Bull cans and Baby Ruth wrappers littered the dashboard, and a wooden beaded rosary necklace dangled from the rear view mirror.

"How much do I owe ya?" he asked. She blinked confusedly.

"What?"

"The nachos?" he gestured to the food. "How much?"

"Oh, oh, right." She looked down at the register and tapped the screen a few times. A string of words flashed out at her. **Register closed.** "Crap." She huffed, jabbing at the screen repeatedly as if that would miraculously make it work.

"What is it?" She looked up, an apologetic expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, I forgot that the drive thru closes after twelve. If you still want the nachos, you'll have to come inside and pay at the counter." He made a face of annoyance and confusion. "I know, it sucks." she added. He chuckled at this and nodded.

"Alright, see ya soon then." He pulled away from the window and Carry took the opportunity to let her jaw drop and her brain process what she just saw. A demon. At Taco Bell. Ordering _nachos_, of all things. "I must be hallucinating." she decided, putting her hand to her forehead.

* * *

The doors swung up with a rush of night air and that very 'hallucination' came strolling in, his walk more of a swagger then anything. He seemed cocky and sure of himself, as if he knew exactly who he was and screwed the rest. Carryn surveyed the rest of his outfit. Leather pants and boots clothed his lower half. She discovered that she was right about the tail; it swished from side to side as he walked. A belt hung from his hips, adorned with what looked like religious charms, amulets, and a horse shoe. What should be his right hand was something akin to a giant red cinder block with four fingers. Runes were scribed along the cracks on the surface of the stone. He placed that hand on the counter as he came up.

"Hi again." He said.

"Um, hi…" She smiled nervously, not exactly sure how to behave in this situation. She came to the front counter where he stood and typed in his order. "Is that all you want, or does your family want anything else?"

"Family?" He cocked his head to the side, and then laughed. "Kid, this is all for me. Well, and Liz, if she wants any." Carryn blanched.

"_All_ of this?!"

"Hah, this is nothin'." He smirked, almost proudly. "You should see the amount of food I go through a day. I swear the cooks at home hate me."

"Home?" He waved his fleshy, normal hand.

"Never mind. So, am I getting those nachos, or what?" She smiled, feeling herself relax around him.

"Yeah, of course. Your total's twenty bucks even." He fished a crumpled bill from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Hey, kid?" She hummed in acknowledgment, tucking the bill away in the drawer. "What's your name?"

"Carryn." She replied.

"Well, Carryn, wanna grab a bite and sit with me?" he asked. "I got nowhere else to be."

* * *

She bit into her chalupa, attention on the red man before her, who was busy retelling an adventure of his.

"So the werewolf grabs me by the arm, right? And I'm thinking 'crap, how am I gonna get this sucker in the ground?' So my buddy Abe throws me a silver crucifix and I grab a rope near me and tie the cross to the wolf's tail. He starts yowling like crazy and finally lets go of me. Now I'm just sitting there watching this massive beast drag his butt across the ground this way and that like a dog across a carpet." Carryn burst into laughter, the mental image too funny a sight.

"Oh wow. That's great." She giggled. He grinned crookedly.

"Yeah. The stuff I do on a day to day basis would blow your mind."

"I don't doubt that." She stole a sip from his drink. He scowled, but she ignored it. "So, what's your name? The entire time I've been talking with you, I've never once heard it." He looked down, considering something.

"You trustworthy, kid?" he finally asked.

"I would hope so, or else the managers probably wouldn't leave me as the only person here to lock up at night." She jingled the keys in her pocket to further her point.

"You have a point there." He scratched behind one of his horn stubs and sighed. "Okay. But you gotta keep this a secret. Only you and me, got it?" She nodded enthusiastically.

"...My name's Hellboy."

Her brain took a second to sift through her memory to find where she'd heard that name before. Then it clicked. Her chalupa fell unnoticed to the floor as she jumped up and squealed.

"You're the demon all the newspapers run articles on! The guy every geek and mythology major would bite off their left leg to see! You're the guy from the comics!"

"Heh, yeah. Guess you could say I'm famous. Like a hidden celebrity."

"I mean, I've seen documentaries on you! I didn't think you were _real_ though…"

"Yeah, my boss keeps a pretty good lid on things." He admitted, looking displeased.

Just as Carryn was about to ask more, five black, unmarked sedans peeled into the parking lot. Their doors were thrown open and at least a dozen or so agents in black suits and trench coats rushed out, immediately circling the perimeter of the restaurant and putting up barriers. A balding man, followed by a raven haired woman, walked straight for the entrance.

"Speak of the devil." Hellboy mumbled.

"No pun intended." Carryn added, smirking. He punched her lightly in the arm.

"Funny." The bald man burst through the doors, an angry tirade tumbling out of his mouth. The woman bypassed him and walked directly up to Hellboy, hands on her hips.

"Red," she said in a warning tone. "What the _hell_ happened?"

"-look at this, we'll have to take out the security tapes and falsify them-"

"Nothing, babe." Hellboy replied, leaning back in his chair. "Just got a little hungry is all." He reached behind him and grabbed the last remaining bowl of nachos from the table. "And look, I picked us up some dinner."

"-and who is that girl?! Does she work here?!-"

"Oh, how sweet." She replied dryly. "While you were satisfying your munchies, Manning got all up in arms and had to drag a _whole wing_ of agents, along with me, down here to find you."

"Find?" Hellboy repeated. "But why? My locator was on the whole time!" He gestured to a small device with a glowing red light attached to his belt. "Manning knew _exactly _where I was!"

"-I don't even _like_ tacos!-"

"Yeah, well, tell that to him." The mystery woman finally seemed to notice Carryn sitting beside the behemoth man and smiled. "Oh, hi, you must be…"

"Carryn. Nice to meet you." She reached out a hand and the woman shook it.

"Liz."

"Oh, _that_ Liz? Hellboy's mentioned you." Carryn said, glancing over at the red demon. "He seems to be very fond of you."

"He'd better be." Liz replied, tossing a playful smile at Hellboy. "I'm sorry about this whole deal Carryn. We didn't mean to make a mess."

"Mess-?" Carryn looked around the store and felt all the blood rush from her face.

* * *

In the short time that they had been there, the agents had managed to make the entire store a living bedlam. Taco shells and chips lay crushed on the floor. Sauce and nacho cheese had somehow managed to be sprayed across the walls and floor. Pans were upturned and emptied. The deep fryer had what she swore was a phone in it. The whole place looked like it was turned upside down and beaten with a sledgehammer.

Carryn sputtered helplessly as the chaos ensued. "My-my store…I'm going to be fired a hundred times over for this…"

"Don't worry." Hellboy said. "Someone's gonna clean it up for you... Eventually." She groaned, folding her arms on the table and burying her head in them.

"-and _you_!" Hellboy looked up as Manning's rage was directed at him. "You're going home and doing all the paperwork that's going to come out of this!"

"Oh, come on Manning." HB whined. "I'm not the desk job type! I don't do reports and claims!"

"Too bad, young man. This is your own doing."

An agent came out from the manager's office with a VHS tape in hand.

"We've got the security tape." he said, addressing Manning.

"Good, good. Take it out to the techies to be fixed." The agent nodded and bustled off.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" Carryn exclaimed. Manning peered at her as if only just now seeing her. "You can't screw with the tapes, I'll get in trouble!" Carryn exclaimed.

"Let's see here- your minimum wage job versus the anonymity of a top secret government department that guarantees world wide security from the big baddies hiding in the dark. Which is more important? Hmm, let me think..." He then turned, effectively ending the one sided argument. "Hellboy, you're coming home, _now_. Liz, you too." With that, he spun on his heel and walked out the door, shouting unheeded orders and complaining the whole way.

Hellboy stretched languishingly and heaved himself out of his chair. He cast a kind look towards Carryn and ruffled her hair.

"Sorry kid. I don't wanna go, but Manning…"

"I know. Thanks, though. For all of this." She smiled gratefully.

"No problem. You're not so bad- for a human."

"**_HELLBOY!_**"

The aforementioned growled and turned to trail after his boss. He threw a glance back over his shoulder and winked.

"See ya kid." With that, the hulking trench coat figure lumbered off, his arm around the waist of the delicate Liz.

Carryn was left sitting for the remainder of the night, watching as the last of the agents trickled out until the store was once more empty and quiet. She looked around herself- at the mess, at the seat across from her where Hellboy had sat, at the empty nacho bowls- then leaned back and sighed heavily.

"Now what?"

* * *

**Inspired by a boring shift working at Taco bell. Just a little drabble. Hope you liked it! Review, please?**


End file.
